Finding The Pieces

An amazing thing has happened to me....slowly over the last few months.

I lost my father tragically when I was 2 years old. He was murdered as he tried to protect a woman in a domestic violence situation, he was only 25.

Sadly, my entire life..my dad is unknown to me except for photographs of him, us or people I do not know. My mom rarely spoke of him and now I am finding the little I know has been half truths. Why, I don't know and I am not going to ask.

My dad grew up in a wonderful loving Christian home. He had a brother and sisters and loving parents.

My mom kept my contact with his family limited to Christmas and phone calls. I loved my Grandma (his mom) and we lost her to cancer in the late '90's. When we lost her, I lost an opportunity I never knew I had...

I never asked my Grandma to tell me stories of my dad, who he was, what he liked. I was afraid to make her sad. Looking back now, I am sure she would have welcomed the opportunity to talk about him and make him come to life for me.

A few months back through myspace I came to begin talking to my dad's niece by his only brother. We enjoyed chatting, but she said she did not know much of my dad, I would need to talk to my uncle.

Again going back to me being afraid to ask... Finally last week, my cousin sent me a message CALL MY DAD! So I did....

What a wonderful gift that has been given to me!! I told my uncle how sad I have been and how I want to know more about my dad and who he was. I also want to know my family!

My Uncle for the last few days has been blessing me with emails of information of my dad. He still knows friends of my dad. He is helping me to find lost pieces of my life and soul and make me whole. He is giving me the precious gift of bringing my dad to life. Through all this it has been found out, an old friend of his has my dad's personal Bible he used to read. My Uncle is trying to get it to me. Imagine...someday I may read from the same Bible I have seen my dad hold in so many pictures.

My Aunt has also over the last few years blessed me with memories of my dad. My goal is to put them all together in a scrapbook.

I believe my dad is the guardian angel of my family. I believe he is helping bring me back to the family I have needed all these years.

Every memory I hear about my dad makes him real to me.

I have had an emptiness in my heart my entire life and in the last few days through the help of others, I am Finding the Pieces to become whole.